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Ask A Childbirth Educator
Questions and Answer

Q. Do dads need to take childbirth classes with moms? What are the benefits?

A. There are several benefits to dads taking the classes with moms. The first is, it is a time where both of you can slow down and spend time thinking about the pregnancy and birth. Nowadays many of us are busy with careers and family, and often it is hard to take a break to focus on your expected new arrival. Fathers often say to me that the night we have class is almost the only night they spend time with their partners talking in-depth about the baby and their desires for the birth, parenting etc.

Another benefit is that there are many decisions to be made: birth plans, choosing a caregiver, choosing a place of birth, deciding what procedures if any you wish for your newborn. Information that can help parents make decisions about these issues is presented in good, consumer-based classes. If you are knowledgeable it is much easier to discuss and reach a decision together, rather than your partner going to class by herself and coming back to re-hash it with you. Since many first-time dads have not been present at a birth, seeing films, talking with other couples and asking questions can be a good way to prepare for what is involved. Trends in childbirth change quickly, and experienced parents often gain much from childbirth classes for this reason. My children were 13 months apart, and even in that short space of time there was much new happening in birth!

Another reason is that even with a doula or a midwife present, very often you will be the only support for your partner at some point during the labor. Usually this is in very early labor. Taking classes can prepare you with information and tips that can ease your fears and make this special time more pleasurable and joyful. Childbirth can be one of the most intimate moments of a couple's relationship. Taking good classes can be one way to increase the likelihood of you both having a smooth transition from pregnancy, to labor, to birth and parenting.

Further along on the line of classes providing information is that dads who attend classes have more of an idea of what is going on during their partner's labor. They will know that it is normal for her to feel at some point that she cannot go on, they will know it is normal for her to feel nauseated, or feel hot, or to vocalize loudly. Since they have that reassurance they are able to give their partner the emotional support that can make such a big difference in her labor. They can look in her eyes and say "You are doing beautifully!" and mean every word. This can make a huge difference in a woman's emotional state. Women in labor are very sensitive to people around them. Some women go so far as to say they "know what others are thinking." If she can look at the father of her baby and hear him say " this is okay, you can do it!" and know he is telling the truth, she will be better able to relax with the forces of her labor. The father's role is so important, because no one can replace his love and care to his partner.

Karen Klimsak-Ungar, CCE has been a certified childbirth educator for Birth Works® since 1996. She is currently Managing Editor for the Birth Works newsletter, sits on the Birth Works Board of Directors, and serves on their National Trainee Review Committee. A happily married mother of two, she also continues to teach Birth Works classes as well as private classes.

Karen will answer your questions on fertility, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and babies. Her advice does not take the place of your practitioner. Personal answers will not always be possible.