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Andrew Carter Earle 's Birth

Born: February 19, 1998 Weight: 7 pounds, 13 ounces Height: 20 inches

Here is my story:

My pregnancy was a surprise. I am unmarried, living with my boyfriend, and we have two daughters from his previous marriage (ages 13 and 9).

To begin with, I was unhappy with the doctor who I had to deal with. He did not listen to me, would ask me if I was eating too many ice creams when my weight gain was more than he thought it should be, and insisted I was wrong about the date of my last pregnancy. Sigh. My menstruation cycle is not a typical 4 week cycle, it is a 6 week cycle, so we had a difficult time dating my pregnancy.

I did not have any morning sickness, so I had a hard time believing I was pregnant. I had my first ultrasound at 13 weeks, to date the pregnancy. It was exciting to see my baby moving on the screen, and I walked away knowing I was really pregnant. My first and second AFP screenings came back with low levels, so I had to go to a high risk ob for a level 2 ultrasound and genetic counseling for an amniocentisis. I was scared to do the amnio, but was talked into it because my whole family wanted to know if there was something wrong with my baby. If I have another baby, I will not chose to go ahead with the amnio. For me, there was a lot of pain. The one good result from it was that we found out we were having a boy. At 20 weeks, I had some bleeding, was put on bed rest, and did not have any other problems. Since the only cause of the bleeding we could see was from having sex, we were scared to continue with that for the rest of the pregnancy. At 30 weeks, the doctor told me he though the baby was breech, and that we would keep an eye on him. At 34 weeks, Andrew was still breech, it was confirmed with another ultrasound, and the doctor began to talk of doing an external version. At 37 weeks, we tried the version. It was extremely painful, and it did not work. There were two doctors who tried to physically push my baby around to the correct position. They would get him to move an inch, and he would pop back into his comfortable place again. Once again, if I had to make the decision over again, I would not chose to do the external version. So, a c-section was planned for 39 weeks. I was terrified of the surgery, was scared of the recovery, and plain out did not want to do it. But, I wanted my baby to come into this world safely.

The day of the surgery, I had to be at the hospital by 10am, and my boyfriend's mother showed up at 10:15. I was extremely agitated and just wanted to be alone. I asked my boyfriend to please get rid of her. She was planning on staying in my room while I had my catheter and iv inserted. So, my boyfriend got rid of her, and she persisted to poke her head into the room each time the door was opened by a nurse. I finally had to ask a nurse what she could do to make my future mother in law leave. The nurse was wonderful, and I did not have to see my boyfriend's mother again until after Andrew was born. I had an epidural for the c-section, got strapped down to the table, and the surgery began. Andrew was born 10 minutes after the incision was made, I was only able to touch his cheek (they had to unstrap my arm just to let me do that), and then they took him away. Andrew had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and slung over his shoulder, so I was able to find out why he was breech and why the doctors could not make him flip over for the external version. I was thankful to have had the c-section, he would not have lived through a vaginal birth. My boyfriend went with him to the nursery. I was angry later because they gave Andrew a bottle of formula while I was being stitched up. I am breastfeeding, and was afraid the bottle would confuse my new baby. I was lucky, Andrew had no problem adjusting to me.

The recovery for the surgery was a lot easier than I expected. I ran a fever for a couple of days, and had to be on a liquid diet until I began to pass gas. Yes, they keep asking if you have passed gas. It is supposed to be a good sign. I had a drug called Dermorf, I think, it was put into the epidural after the surgery, and it lasted for the first 24 hours. I never had any pain in the incision, it is healing nicely, and I never had to take any of the pain medication the doctor gave me. I was out of the hospital in 3 days, and was very happy to be home.

Andrew is now 6 weeks old, and we are both doing well. He is growing a lot, and we are still breastfeeding. It has been difficult at times, I had scabs on my nipples in the beginning, and Andrew tends to be a lazy sucker. So, he gets frustrated, and I have to pump a little milk out first to get the flow going for him. He is now going about 4 between feedings at night, and I am dreaming of the time when I will get to sleep a full night again. I actually feel like I am sleeping better now than my last 2 months of my pregnancy. But, I would still like to sleep through the night again.

One last thing, the c-section was easier than I thought it would be, and I would not have a problem having to do it again. I did feel a little cheated out of the experience of labor and delivery. I had to cry about that and talk about my feelings about it with my boyfriend. I have also found that many women treat me as if I cheated the system. I feel as though I had to go through my own kind of pain, and they just laugh at me and tell me I have not gone through the passage of womanhood. I no longer listen or talk to these women. I have had my passage, I am a mother, I love my son, and feel it is unfair of these people to try to convince me I am less of a woman than they are.

If anyone else has had a similar experience or has questions about mine, please feel free to email me at Susangilm@aol.com

Susan, mother to Andrew