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Jay's Birth Story

I seem to have a different feeling towards my c-section than a lot of other mothers whose stories I have read. With my first pregnancy (twins) I had a planned c-section at 39 1/2 weeks because Twin A was breech and Twin B was transverse. My OB felt I could deliver the breech baby vaginally, but he was unsure he could turn the transverse baby and he didn't want me to end up doing both types of deliveries. As it turned out the c-section was the right way to go as Cole's (Twin B) head was stuck under my ribs and the OB had to pull really hard to get him out. Apgar of 1 but he's ok now. I never had a problem dealing with the c-section because I new medically it was the best way to go. I did however always wonder what a contraction felt like. I didn't even experience any Braxton-Hicks contractions.

Four years later, one month after my hubby and I had given up trying for another baby, I was pregnant again. I did manage to deliver vaginally this time but it wasn't anything at all like I had hoped and still, three months later I am disturbed by the whole ordeal.

At 10 days past my due date I was instructed by my GP to go to the hospital to be assessed for an induction. The OB on call said "oh, you're here for an induction?", Applied some vaginal gel and left. The nurses said to come back in the afternoon for another application of gel if nothing happened in the meantime. Well, we repeated the procedure that afternoon and the following morning and afternoon. I had a few mild contractions off and on. I thought, this isn't too bad. But things stopped a few hours before we were supposed to go in the third morning. The 3rd OB on call applied a cervical gel and something REALLY got going then. Contractions started at one minute long and two minutes apart. I felt like my insides were ripping open - probably where my uterus had been cut four years earlier. The nurse said these weren't real contractions, just something brought on by the gel and she said to go home and come back when the real contractions were five minutes apart and lasting 45sec to 1min. Well, the contractions never changed. I never had any tightening of the tummy, just this intense pain in a horizontal line. After six hours of the one min long, two min apart excruciating contractions, we went back to the hospital. I was allowed to stay but unfortunately my cervix still wasn't even effaced. Ugh!! I was told I would labor like a first-timer but this was ridiculous. Finally, after twelve hours of this nasty stuff I was 3cm dilated and the OB of that morning broke my water. I also gave up on trying to do this without medication and asked for an epidural. Much to my husband's chagrin. I had asked him to support me and and help me express my wishes to the medical staff that I didn't want medication or an epidural. I had both! I was disappointed in myself but the labor turned out to be completely different than what the books and the birthing classes had described and at 3cm I figured I had another 12hrs or more of worse contractions coming and wasn't prepared to deal with that. We did finally make it to 10cm and the pushing stage, I couldn't feel the urge because of the epidural but I tried to push anyway. After 1 1/2 hrs, the nurse called in the OB who called for forceps and to prep the OR. I felt my heart sink. After all this time, I was going to end up with another c-section. The doctor didn't explain what was going on there were nurses coming from everywhere making various preparations. I felt completely out of control and that I had no say in what was happening. I had never felt so low. My ultimate concern was ending up with a healthy baby, so we let the staff do their jobs and did as we were told. The OB got the baby with the forceps on the first try.. It turned out the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, which was holding him from coming down the birth canal on his own. He luckily suffered no ill effects from the forceps delivery and the cord being around his neck. I was so happy to hear him cry and learn he was healthy. I was also happy that I managed to deliver him vaginally even though I needed lots of help. I was, however, unprepared for the rest of my story. I had lost so much blood that I needed a two unit transfusion. I also ended up with a D&C two days later because they suspected some placenta had been retained. My new son is almost three months old and I still don't feel completely recovered. I often wish I had had another c-section. When my twins were three months old I had completely recovered from my c-section and the surgery I had two months later to remove an infected ovary and except for sleep deprivation, felt like a million bucks. I don't want to seem whiney because I do appreciate it that I have three happy, healthy, beautiful sons but I feel more disappointed with my vaginal birth than with my c-section.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I had to tell somebody how I felt.