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Ruhiyyih Elizabeth

My "official" due date was July 15th, but I had a strange attachment to the 18th, and even wrote it in my baby book as my due date. My pregnancy went very smoothly, with only minor discomforts, but I had been having trouble sleeping the last week or two. On July 17th, I awoke feeling very well rested, and commented to my husband, Richard, that I had slept well that night. Good thing! When I went to the bathroom, I noticed some blood and lots of mucus. It was my first early labor sign, and it made me realize that I probably wouldn't be pregnant forever. I went back into the bedroom to tell Richard, and we happily planned our day, hoping that labor would start soon, even though we knew that it could be a few more days. I was scheduled to work that day, so we both made arrangements to leave work at 2 p.m.

All day, I had light cramps and lost more mucus. I was also leaking amniotic fluid, but didn't realize it. I just thought I was having bladder control problems! At 2 o'clock, we went home and took care of a few last minute things, like laundry. Of course, I was expecting a long labor and still thought I'd have time to make brownies and work on my baby quilt before it got too intense. This was in the middle of a typical Sacramento heat wave, and I think the day's high temperature was 105. I really wanted to walk, but it was too hot, and our house doesn't have effective air conditioning. So Richard and I decided to go to the mall to walk around where it was cool. We got there at about 6 p.m., and right away I started to have clearer contractions that I could time. I timed a few before I told Richard about them, then I let him know that they were three to five minutes apart and lasting 30 seconds to a minute. They were pretty mild at that point, but after a while I started having to lean over the railing during each contraction while Richard rubbed my back. Still, I don't think anyone at the mall knew what was happening, and I felt like we had a wonderful secret! We ate dinner at the mall, but gave up on the idea of seeing a movie. I had wanted to keep my mind off early labor, but by this point the contractions were more intense, and I had to pee every fifteen minutes.

We decided to head home and arrived around 9 p.m. I called one of my midwives, Tosi, to let her know I was in labor, but I was still expecting to labor all night (at least) and wasn't surprised when she advised me to go to bed and try to get some sleep. Richard took the birthing tub (a Rubbermaid agricultural tub) outside to wash it out, but he couldn't get it back through the bedroom door alone. I got in the shower to cool off before going to bed and right away my contractions got more intense. I found myself turning the water to hot and aiming it right at my lower back while I leaned against the wall. After fifteen minutes, Richard came in to check on me and I asked him to call Tosi back. She had told me to call if I felt I needed her there, but I still thought I was being a wimp about the pain and was starting to worry that I wouldn't be able to do this all night. I got out of the shower and spent some time in the rocking chair and then on my hands and knees leaning over a pile of pillows. (Around that time, my half sister called. We lost touch about ten years ago, but she recently got my number through the internet. She didn't even know that I was married, let alone that I was having a baby that night! It was some sort of psychic connection at work.)

When Tosi arrived at 10:15 p.m., I was back in the shower and making lots of noise with each contraction. She asked me what I wanted her to do first, and I said, "Fill the tub!!!!" She and Richard maneuvered it into the bedroom and started filling it. I got out of the shower so I wouldn't compete with the tub for hot water. I was on the bed on my hands and knees having contractions every two to three minutes lasting sixty to ninety seconds. There was so much energy moving through me - I felt like I was riding a bucking bull. During my whole labor I tried to focus my mind on opening up for the baby. Whenever I felt my body saying "No!" I would make myself say "Yes!" out loud. When I would moan loudly, "Oooooohhhh," I would turn it into "Oooooopening up for the baby." I really think it helped me progress. I kept having to pee often and I hoped that being on the toilet would help, but the contractions were so strong on the toilet that I think I fought against them a little bit, so that wasn't a good place for me to stay. Richard was wonderful ‹ he kept telling me what a great job I was doing and reminding me to take one contraction at a time. He made sure I drank lots and kept cool compresses on my forehead.

Finally, around 10:45, Tosi came over to check my dilation. I was really scared that I would be at 2 centimeters. Even though it was only a few hours into my labor, I was having trouble dealing with the contractions and wasn't sure how much more I could take. I lay on my back after a contraction and Tosi checked me as quickly as possible. She said I was at 7 centimeters! That was really encouraging, even though I knew I had a lot of work ahead. It turned out to be my only internal examination.

Soon the tub was full and I got in gratefully. I did one contraction on my knees leaning forward over the side, then switched to leaning back and floating. The water didn't take away the pain, but it definitely helped me relax, especially between contractions, when I felt almost blissful. It wasn't long before I started feeling my body pushing during contractions. I was pretty scared of pushing at first and it took me a while to get the hang of it. Our other midwives, Amy and Stacey, arrived and Amy really got me to work with the contractions. After maybe half an hour of pushing, I put my fingers in the birth canal and felt the baby's head about two inches inside! It was so soft and I could feel the downy hair. That made me feel much more connected to what I was working for, but I still didn't know how I could get the baby out. It felt like climbing Mount Everest without the option of turning back. I was making deep, loud noises with each push and moving my hips forward in the tub while I gripped the sides. When the baby's head was crowning, the midwives held a mirror underwater so I could see it coming. Richard washed his hands and came around to help catch the baby. I had my hand on my perineum the whole time to feel it stretching, which helped me handle the burning sensations. As it stretched more and more, I kept thinking, "This has to be big enough. Maybe this push will get the head out." Finally, the baby's head was born. I could see it underwater and I had my hands under it with Richard's hands. With the next push, the body slid out into our hands under the water and we lifted our baby up onto my chest. I spent a few minutes just being amazed at the feel of the baby, before I remembered to check whether we had a girl or a boy. We had both kind of hoped for a girl, but we knew we would be happy either way. I couldn't see a penis, but the cord was in the way, and it was pretty dim in the room, so I said, "I think it's a girl, but we'll have to check again later." Later examination confirmed my initial findings, and we gave her the name we had chosen for her: Ruhiyyih Elizabeth.

At the midwives' request, I got out of the water to deliver the placenta and sat on the edge of the tub. I wasn't having contractions, and I tried pushing a few times anyway, but no placenta. We decided to get Ruhiyyih nursing. She latched on at the first try and started nursing beautifully 13 minutes after she was born. I still wasn't having contractions, so the midwives gave me Anjelica tincture and we decided to give Ruhiyyih to Richard so I could change positions easier. Richard cut the cord and then held her against his bare chest. I sat on a low seat (an ice chest, actually) and gave a good, hard push, and the placenta came out. The midwives looked it over and it was all in one piece.

Richard and Ruhiyyih and I all got into bed and I nursed and ate a bagel while the midwives drained the tub and started the laundry soaking (bless them!) Then they performed the newborn exam. As we expected, she was perfectly healthy, and she weighed ten pounds, two ounces! They cleaned me up and checked me for tears - unfortunately, I had a second degree tear. I really didn't want stitches, but Tosi talked me into it. She was very gentle and I hardly felt a thing. It helped distract me to nurse while she was putting in the three stitches. (In retrospect, I'm glad I had the stitches because I think I healed better. I also had a small skin split which wasn't stitched and took longer to heal.)

Finally, everything was done and the midwives left us for the night with lots of hugs and smiles all around. I felt too excited to sleep but we all fell asleep almost before they closed the front door!

Ruhiyyih is almost eight weeks old now, and we are a very happy family. Nursing is so wonderful; right away I felt as though I'd been doing it all my life (but I still needed lots of support and advice from other nursing mothers.) She nurses quite frequently during the day (at least once an hour, but often every fifteen minutes or so) and sleeps with us at night so she can nurse every two or three hours. Richard took four weeks off work when she was born so we could all share that special time together. Ruhiyyih now comes to work with me twenty hours a week at my bookstore. I still love to feel the top of her head when she's nursing and remember the first time I touched it as she was being born. It really brings back the wonder of her arrival and makes me so glad that we were blessed with a natural birth!