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Emma's Birth

Hi I'm Emma's mom. My name is Colleen and I am 27 years old. My husband's name is Steve and he is 29. This is a short version of the pregnancy and birth of our first child Emma Mikayla. First off I just need to tell everyone how incredibly wonderful it is to give life to another being. I know women give birth everyday and have done it for eons but nothing could truly prepare me for how I felt during my pregnancy and then at the moment of truth when the most beautiful vision I have ever seen came from inside me and looked at me. I guess words can not truly explain how I feel. I am so grateful that I was able to experience her growth and development the first 9 months inside me and then now to see her learn and understand and rely on me to guide her and help her be the person she was meant to be. It's truly mind blowing. (and I said the short version.....hahaha!!!)

Steve and I have been married almost five years and tried for Emma for about three. It was a little disappointing not to get pregnant when you actually wanted to. You spend a good deal of time in your younger days trying to avoid this and when you want it it takes it's own sweet time. During the three years Steve and I felt that God was waiting to find just for the right angel to send our way. And in January of 1996 we found out that we were pregnant. We could not have been happier. The first trimester was rough because I experienced a lot of morning sickness that of course occurred after every meal....before every meal....during every meal...let's just say I had it and I had it often. The doctors tried to explain to me how this was a great sign that the baby was healthy and taking all of my nutrients and making me sick. So....that made me feel a little better but it was hard to think of my sweet little angel when I felt like I was chosen to carry the AntiChrist. But after 10 weeks it went away and I felt super.

Trimesters two and three were so wonderful. I couldn't wait to start showing. I would always rub my belly and talk to her. I knew in my heart that Emma was a girl. (I had named her about 10 years ago.) But just to be on the safe side Steve and I found out the sex through our first ultrasound at about 16 weeks. The Doctor was guiding the ultrasound instrument over my belly showing us the length of the body. She then was able to go right between her legs and...viola...she said "there's a vagina" and Steve and I just sat there grinning, looking at our little girl. Our little "Johna Appleseed" as we lovingly would refer to her.

So as the months passed my belly grew. Feeling her kick and move was incredible. I couldn't wait til they got stronger so Steve could feel them too. Even though I must admit that I liked being the only one who could feel her in the very beginning. It was special just between us. But after she got stronger and the flutters turned into karate chops, I wanted him to feel it too so I could get some sympathy for more back rubs. I loved taking baths while I was pregnant even though they couldn't be as hot as I had wanted. Emma loved them too. Right after I would get in the tub and she felt the warm water, she would start shimming all around. I would lie very still and just watch in amazement as my whole stomach would twist up and down and she would roll from side to side. It is such a joyous memory of her being inside me....but then Steven would come into the bathroom and make that submerging submarine sound and the mood would take on a different meaning.

During the last trimester I started to get pretty big. I was mostly baby so I looked even larger. So many people would tell me that I was going to go early...that I was going to have a ten pounder....a boy....a girl...twins...Oy vhey! A pregnant woman hears everyone's opinion. But that's OK with me. I like the attention. But I did think I would go into labor sooner than my October 9th due date. But no such luck. Steve was in a friend's wedding party on the 5th of October and when I showed up everyone got very nervous. Especially when I joined in to do the Macarena. I was hoping the noise and activity would stimulate little Emma Mikayla to peek her head out. Again no such luck! After our due date passed we had to go for a non-stress test to view the baby's environment and to make sure she was doing OK. For my first stress test she was fine and happy, enjoying her current living situations. So we went home and waited. On our second test she was still happy and content. We were now 5 days overdue. But this time they also performed and ultrasound to see how much amniotic fluid she had. The fluid was a little low. What did this mean? Well I thought that it would mean that if we didn't have the baby in two days we would be induced or something. So when we went out to see our doctor after the test he casually says, "Your baby is going to be born today." Huh? Today? Oh my God! For a moment Steve and I were in shock. Well, more than a moment actually. I remember we went to Friendly's for some breakfast after that news was given to us and we just kept smiling saying she's coming...she's coming today.

Here comes the climax of our 9 months of pregnancy and lifetime of desires. We went to the hospital on October 14th at 4pm and were given an internal exam. My cervix was 100% effaced but I was not dilated. So I was given a drug called Cervadel which is a gel that's placed on a little cotton and is inserted inside at the base of the cervix. The doctor said that in a lot of women that this is what they need to start the contractions. She said that it's often very effective, especially in woman who are totally effaced. And that would be me! So I needed to be monitored for about three hours at the hospital to see what initially would happen. Steve and I had dinner and watched the baby monitor to see if there was anything happening. I felt fine. No pain...no contractions...just a lot of anxiety. So at around 7:30 we were able to go home with the gel still inside doing it's job. The doctor advised that he (shift change...now we have Dr Manfredi, my regular gynecologist) would probably expect us back around 2 am, in active labor. His parting words were; "come back when you can't walk or talk." Excuse me? So we went home and got together all of the things we wanted to bring to the hospital, made the phone calls and waited. Steve fell asleep saying something like..."In the Lamaze classes they recommend that the father get enough sleep in the beginning of labor....zzzzz..." Yeah right! I know I can't sleep, I keep waiting for the pain to begin....and the thought of soon seeing Emma was more than enough to keep me wide eyed. But then after a few hours nothing was happening. I felt the same. I figured I should go to sleep because the sooner I fell asleep the sooner it would be morning and we could go back to the hospital. And that's exactly what happened. We returned to the hospital at 8am feeling fine. Dr Manfredi was still oncall. He said he was very surprised that we didn't come back in the middle of the night. Yeah...us too. So he removed the gel and performed another internal. Not too much had changed since the day before. It was now time for hardcore action....send in the Pitocin. Pitocin is a drug that stimulates the body to begin contractions. It forces you into labor. So we got settled in...hooked up to a few different IVs and a fetal monitor and waited for Mother Drug to take her course. Again Dr Manfredi gave us hope that this stuff is quick and he thought the results would come about soon. Again we were hopeful but why should this be any different? At around 1:30 Dr Manfredi comes in for another internal and sees no progress at all. He thinks that if he can just break my water that the contractions and labor will begin. I now experienced a pain worse than labor. That one exam, trying to break my water, was the most painful experience I can remember. I am suppose to lie still, legs spread and relaxed while this guy goes inside me and behind my baby's head to try and poke a finger into a layer that has no openings. To understand my point...try this: stick your finger on the outside of your cheek and push really hard trying to make a hole so you can touch your teeth. OUCH! Needless to say I turned into Satan and was ready to turn my doctor into a wart infested toad. He removed his hand which was now full of blood and shook his head saying that he didn't understand why the Pitocin hadn't worked yet and that if nothing happened by 5 pm that they would take me off of it and do a cesarean the next day. That news really depressed Steve and I. Here we are so anxious and excited to have her born today after all this time, only be told that it may not happen today and that worst of all it may have to happen by Cesarean section.

Our nurse for the day was named Ethel. She saw how disappointed Steve and I were at the recent turn of events. She decided that a drug called Stadol would help take the edge off and help me to relax. I think Ethel deserves the credit for helping Emma come into the world just as much as anyone. That drug was incredible. I have never done drugs but have often wondered what a drug like say, crack or heroin was like because it totally takes over the users life. That's got to be some feeling, right? With Stadol I feel like I came pretty close to achieving that high. I had never felt like that before. Totally relaxed and peaceful. And...the best part of all was that it helped me to start dilating. Dr Manfredi came back at around 4pm and I was four centimeters. He broke my water and the contractions became stronger. Soon after that they asked if I'd like an epidural for the pain since the contractions had started to get stronger. Sure I say!

The epidural administrator gave me quite a scare. I am told to curl up in a ball towards my husband and stay very still. The contractions are coming a lot sooner and stronger now so that's challenging to stay so still....but I fear paralysis so I do it. She numbs up my back with some Novocain and starts to poke me with a long needle. She tries three different spots removing the needle each time, mumbling to herself "no space". She numbs another part of my back and tries to administer the needle again. Three more attempts...It's now been a few minutes and a few contractions....She again mumbles "no space" and numbs my back yet a third time. After the eighth prick with the needle she asks me if I have Scolioses. Oh great! This is all I need. I was starting to feel a lot of pain quickly. The contractions were taking over and I wasn't in a position where I could deal with them. I begged God to let this woman find a space and take away the pain. Finally after two more pricks she did. It turns out I tilted a little and my vertebra were all close together and not as spread out as they should have been for her to find a space between them. So in flows the epidural and out flows the pain. It was amazing how quickly it worked. I was on a low dose so I still felt the contractions a lot but this sure helped. Over the next few hours my parents came to visit. Hoping to be there to see their new granddaughter but the doctors weren't making any more promises anymore, so it could be a while. They left when the contractions started to get very strong at around 9pm. I was about 7 centimeters at this time. And I wanted to push. I had such an urge that I didn't think I'd be able to control it. The nurse said that if I did push now before I was completely dilated that I would swell up the remaining part of the cervix and Emma would never be born. So I had to concentrate, concentrate more than I ever had to before in my life to deal with the pain and get through it. I guess I was in such a state of concentration that Steve thought I fell asleep. He couldn't ask me because I had issued a no talking policy when I found out I couldn't push. I didn't want any distractions. I was actually very proud of myself. It was intense pain...all of which I have forgotten about now...and I went away somewhere to work through it. It is really amazing what you can do when you need to do it. At 10pm I was fully dilated. We are now very close to seeing our beautiful little angel. Dr Guinan is now on duty and he shows up at about 10:15 pm. The nurses have assembled the little trays with utensils and the heating table is rolled in. It's really going to happen. I can't believe it. I get into the birthing mode...feet placed into the biggest stirrups I have ever seen...my butt is hanging over the edge of the bed above a big plastic bag that is suppose to catch all of the gooky stuff....Steve is on my right at my head...then at the foot of the bed...then back by me. I tell him to go the end and watch as Emma comes out. Then the pushing starts. It really wasn't that hard. I think I was so overwhelmed at the thought of finally seeing Emma that the pain took a backseat to my heart. After a few minutes the doctor tells me she's going to be born on the next contraction. I honestly didn't believe him....but it was true. I felt her head come out and then her turn and her right shoulder goes through and then the left and then there she was. It is a totally overwhelming...no words to explain it. She was perfect. Her eyes opened before she was all the way out and she looked at her daddy...then as she was turned she looked at me. She hadn't cried yet, just looking around. Then when she was all the way out, she let out a big burst and started to cry. The sweetest little duck whaling quack that I had ever heard. Steve cut her umbilical cord and she was given to me. My precious baby. She looked at me and I know she smiled. It was like she was thinking..."Oh hi mommy...I've been waiting so long to see you...for you to give me kisses and a big hug. I love you" And I love you Emma, I always knew I would but I just never realized how much. Steven and I thank God everyday for our wonderful blessing. She is truly a miracle.