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Hannah's Birth

First I'd like to start by saying that I am 30 years old, and my husband Danny and I and have 3 children, two boys and one girl. Jeffrey is 8, Steven is 22 months, and Hannah Mae is 5 months. This is the story of Hannah's birth. I decided to write about only hers because hers was the only one that I was able to do without any pain medication. All of my labors and deliveries were approximately the same length of time, roughly 17 hours. With Jeffrey I went into labor on my own and had pitocin as the labor went on, and then morphine for pain. With Steven, I was induced 2 weeks early with prostaglandin gel due to high blood pressure, and was given fentanyl (sp?) for pain. Here is the story of Hannah Mae's birth.

I was pregnant with my third child. My second ultrasound revealed that we were having a girl (finally!). We were ecstatic! What were we going to do with a little girl? All we had ever taken care of was little boys. My due date was July 21, 1996. On Thursday, July 25th I went to see my doctor and she told me that I was about 2 cm dilated but not thinned at all. She told me that she'd like to induce me soon since I was overdue and getting very big and uncomfortable. The beginning of the following week was out of the question as far as scheduling an induction because the birthing center where I go was all booked up with inductions (it's a small, very personal hospital). So she said that we could either wait another week, or we could do it tomorrow, meaning Friday the 26th. I took a deep breath and just as I was about to say "let's shoot for the end of next week" Danny blurted out "tomorrow!" I looked at him, then looked at my doctor and said "tomorrow? Well...yeah I guess I could have a baby tomorrow..." and then I really felt like passing out but instead I just sat on the table and shook like crazy! So tomorrow it was. I was still working so I had to go in and tell my boss I wouldn't be back for a while, and then go home and rest because I knew that tomorrow would be a L O N G day. Of course, I didn't get any sleep that night because my 17 month old was still waking up once a night, not to mention the fact that I was just really, really scared and nervous.

At 7:30 Friday morning when Danny got home from work, we dropped the boys off at his mother's and headed for the hospital. One of the nurses showed me to my room and I was VERY glad to see that the bathroom had a nice big bathtub. I wanted to try laboring in warm water this time, which I was not able to do the other two times because I didn't have the room with the tub. The nurse explained to me what was going to happen that day and had me sign some forms. She then had me get undressed, put on a hospital gown and robe, and hooked me up to the external fetal monitor. This whole time Danny was seated beside my bed in a rocking chair looking very nervous. He works nights and had worked the night before so he was very tired.

After about an hour on the monitor and showing no signs of any contractions, my doctor decided it was time to insert the IV hookup, which they did. The monitor did show that the baby's heartbeat was strong and healthy. My doctor then told me that the gel was "thawing" and that she would be back in a little while to insert it. I thought ... "thawing"?? EEECK! I had been induced once before with this miraculous blue "Smurf" gel, but never knew they kept it frozen. After what seemed like an eternity, my doctor came back in, checked my vitals, read the monitor strip one more time, and inserted the gel. I had to lie on my back in bed for an hour to let the gel "set". I could get up and walk around after that. About 15 minutes after the insertion of the gel I started having little pains and contractions. Nothing really big, just pains that felt like gas pains. I was excited and scared at the same time because having been through this twice before, I knew EXACTLY what to expect.

Danny had left the room for a bit, and when he came back, he was holding a baby! I said "Who's baby is that???" I couldn't believe it. I was excited to see a baby, yet a little disappointed that he was holding someone else's baby while I was trying to have ours. As it turns out, there were two other couples from Danny's workplace also at the birthing center. One couple had their baby the day before, and the other couple was being induced at the same time I was. The nurses were placing bets on who would have their baby first.

By Noontime I was having contractions painful enough that I had to walk around during them while pressing my hands lightly into my back. I usually felt most of the pain in my back with my previous labors. Sometimes Danny would knead my lower back during contractions and other times when they weren't so bad I would do it myself. I wandered out into the hallway with him and we looked at all the baby pictures on the walls. I found it soothing to look at the pictures. I think it helped me realize that soon I will be putting a picture up there. I also liked looking at what people named their children.

As the hours went by, the contractions very slowly got more painful and I started to feel tightening in my back. I kept myself occupied by sitting up in bed indian style and rocking back and forth while watching some of the Olympics. Then I would walk around a bit. Then finally at about 3:00 I asked if I could get in the tub. The nurse filled the tub with warm water and I got to just sit and drink ginger ale and chew ice chips and relax. I must say this was the BEST thing for me. The warm water really relaxed my back muscles and my whole body really. The contractions were much less painful while I was in the water. The nurses had a special doptone that they used to listen to the baby's heartbeat under water. It was wonderful. I wish I could have stayed in there the whole time, but periodically I had to get out to go to the bathroom and be checked for dilation. At 4:00 my doctor came in and got me out of the tub and helped me dry off. I put on a gown and got back in bed so she could see if I had dilated any more. When she announced 4 cm I almost cried. I wasn't even halfway there! That was it. I wasn't walking the halls and looking at ANY more pictures until this baby was out! After this she put me back on the monitor for a while and decided that I needed to labor out of the water for a bit to see if I could dilate more. I sat in the rocking chair for an hour or so, then I walked around the room some more. She then brought in something that I remembered from my previous labor, called the labor ball. It's a huge, flexible plastic ball that you sit on during labor. This was wonderful. It really helped relieve the pressure on the perenium, and that was where I was feeling it at this time especially when I was standing. I remember sitting on the ball at the end of the bed and rocking back and forth during contractions. In between contractions my husband or my mother in law would rub my back while I was sitting on the ball. I kept trying to visualize what my daughter was going to look like and whether or not she would have all her fingers and toes, etc. By 6:00 I was getting really tired and my back was killing me and the pressure was just unbelievable. My doctor checked me again and I was at 5 cm. Ugh! I was allowed to keep switching from the ball to the tub to walking around. I kept waiting for the urge to push thinking that, being my third child, this labor couldn't possibly last as long as the others. But all I kept feeling was a lot of pain and pressure, and I was sweating like mad. So I took off my robe. Then I was freezing. So I put on the robe. Then I was sweating again. An endless circle. My doctor checked me again and I was still at 5 cm. This time I did start to cry because I was so tired already.

To relieve some of the pressure, my doctor offered to break my water. I remembered from before that this did relieve some pressure, so I agreed. My doctor went into the closet in my room and came out with what looked like a long, plastic crochet hook. It looks really awful but doesn't hurt at all. As a matter of fact, it was one of the only pain-free parts of labor for me. She just inserted the hook, gently snagged the bag of waters, and whoosh! What a relief. For a few minutes. But after this the contractions got a little harder and came closer and closer together, and each time I had one fluid would come gushing out. To be honest, during the whole labor I never once timed my contractions. Danny said that the nurses were keeping track, but they found that in some cases it was distressing for the mother to constantly be told how far apart they were and how long they were.

At about 7:30, the contractions were hurting me so bad that I had to sit on the ball, bent over the end of the bed on a pile of pillows, and bounce as hard as I could to keep myself from screaming. Forget the breathing techniques that I learned, man, I was panting! At the peak of the contractions Danny and his mother took turns, one would grind their fists into my lower back and the other would sit on the bed in front of me and let me squeeze their hands. I think Danny still has the imprint of his wedding band on the insides of his middle and pinkie fingers. HE actually screamed at one time because I squeezed and pulled his hands so hard. I really felt like moaning and yelling but was afraid that someone would hear me. Finally I just said forget it, I don't care who hears me, I feel like I'm about to pass a basketball through my body, and I let loose and started yelling and moaning and grunting. My doctor came in at about 9:00 when she heard the noise and said "Are you feeling pushy?" I told her that I didn't think I was ready to push yet but that I desperately wanted an epidural. I really thought I was going out of my mind and didn't think I could do it anymore and needed a break. I was exhausted. She tried to talk me into a pain reliever but I didn't want it because my past experiences with so-called pain relievers never relieved the pain, they just made me really sleepy and evn more tired! I wanted an epidural so bad that I begged her, and then I felt badly because I really wanted to have this baby medication-free. Other women have done it and I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. My doctor looked at the clock and said that we really didn't have time for an eipdural because she would have to call in the anesthesiologist and then she would have to insert it and she was sure that I was going to be ready to push before all this could take place. I started to cry again. I just wanted this to be over and I wanted to hold my baby and go to sleep and then get up and take a shower and wait for my husband to bring in my other two children so I could squeeze them. During all of this, my parents were babysitting for my two boys down the hall in the family room. Steven was asleep on the couch and Jeffrey was watching TV. Neither one of them really knew exactly what was going on except that I was trying to have a baby and why was it taking me so long?!

Time seemed to drag and at this point I couldn't believe that the contractions were actually going to get worse before I felt like pushing. Thinking about it upset me and I kept crying periodically. Danny was getting really nervous and I could tell he felt badly that I was in so much pain. He kept asking me what he could do for me and I told him he was doing everything just right. I think this is important because the father sometimes feels helpless. Ten o'clock rolled around and my doctor checked me again and I was not quite 8 cm. My doctor said to me "I remember this from last time...your cervix just does NOT like to dilate." Great. I had hoped that might change this time but I guess not. So, back on the ball I went. This was the only thing I felt like doing now. As long as I was bouncing on that ball I was able to stay slightly sane. I tried to take one contraction at a time, concentrating on that one and only that one. The pain and pressure is hard to describe unless you're feeling it, but it is the most intense feeling I've ever had. I kept thinking of that poor little baby pressing her head down through my pelvic bones...yikes! What about her? Is she okay? The nurse kept listening to the heartbeat with a doptone (no more monitor, yay!) and the baby was doing fine, both during contractions and in between.

Finally, at about 11:15, when I thought I was just going to lose it and start screaming and throwing things, the nurse came in and said "You must be feeling pushy now...?" I said "Yes!" So she and my doctor and my husband propped me up in bed with lots of pillows. My doctor dropped the lower half of the birthing bed down so that she had room to work. Then she checked me to make sure I was dilated enough to push, and I was at like 9.5 cm and my cervix was fully effaced except for one small "lip" on one side. She said that I could start pushing now if I wanted to, but that she would have to help my cervix finish dilating as I pushed. This petrified me because the exact same thing happened with my second baby. What this meant was that with each contraction, as I pushed, my doctor had to put her fingers inside the cervix and opens it that last .5 cm so the baby's head can come through without tearing the cervix. This all sounds fine, except that it is EXCRUCIATINGLY painful!! And I knew it. But I had to do it. So the nurse brought in this thing that looks like a roll bar and attached it to my bed so I have something to brace my feet against. Finally, with my parents and my other children in the waiting room, my mother in law on the other side of my room, my doctor at my feet, and Danny and the nurse at my head, I started pushing with the next contraction. I was in heaven. I thought, this is it. I pushed with all my might. I pushed so hard that I felt like my head was going to bust! My first two babies were born with only 10 and 20 minutes of pushing so I thought this time ought to be a breeze. Was I ever wrong! Besides being in an enormous amount of pain from my doctors fingers inside my cervix, I was exhausted. Each time my doctor tried to open my cervix, the pain would make me stop pushing. She kept saying "You have to push past that...push past that pain" but I just couldn't! I was too tired. I pushed until midnight and still nothing. So my doctor decided to bring in this little stool for me to sit on and push, thinking that maybe gravity would help things along. So after I stopped sobbing and screaming, Danny and the nurse helped me to the floor so I could sit on this ridiculous looking stool that was shaped like a horseshoe. And I pushed. And I cried. And I yelled at my doctor "Debbie why isn't this baby coming!?!?" And I pushed some more and cried some more. The nurse and my doctor kept telling me to push past the pain but I just couldn't stand it.

So at 12:15 a.m. they moved me back to the bed and even my doctor was looking tired. She said she was calling in the anesthesiologist to give me an epidural because the pushing was not being progressive and I needed to rest. In a way I was thanking God for this moment and in another way I was really depressed that I couldn't get this baby out and that I would most likely end up having a C-section with the epidural because I wouldn't be able to feel anything. So the nurse picked up the phone to call the anesthesiologist at home and in a few minutes she was on her way. A few seconds later I started having a whopper of a contraction and started pushing as hard as I could. I was bearing down, grabbing my legs and pushing until I thought I would pass out. I remember seeing blackness and red dots. My doctor put her fingers in to help my cervix and all of a sudden said to one of the nurses "Call the anesthesiologist back this baby is coming! Call her now!" A rush of excitement went through my entire body and I kept pushing and kept pushing and finally at 12:25 a.m. the baby's head crowned. I was crying...I remember crying really hard...like sobbing. My doctor told me to give one more little push, and the head would be born. So I took a few deep breaths and gave a little push, and her head came out. My body felt numb. Danny was talking a mile a minute about how purple she looked and how big her cheeks were. My doctor then told me to lay back and relax for a second, and give one big push with the next contraction, which I did. One BIG, LONG push and the shoulders slid out. My doctor pulled the rest of my daughter's little body out and laid her on my belly. I was still crying. Danny said "Wow it IS a girl!" (I think he still had his doubts up until then!) I held her and rubbed her back and talked to her and called her Hannah Mae. Her eyes were wide open and she was breathing fine. My doctor reached up and sucked out her nose and mouth and she started making little noises. After a few minutes of just talking to her and looking at her and crying, my husband cut the cord. I was able to deliver the placenta with no problem and I only had one tiny little tear that needed one stitch.

The nurse took her and weighed her and measured her. She was 8 lbs. 2 oz. and was 21" long. She did extremely well on her apgars. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had a perfectly round head and long eyelashes. One of the nurses wiped her off a little just so people could hold her. My parents came in from the waiting room with my two sleepy boys and they all got to hold their little princess all wrapped up in a pink blanket. I was in awe. I just laid there watching everyone hold her and say how beautiful she was. I was ready for sleep.

Hannah is now 5 months old and sometimes I still can't believe she's mine . She sleeps good at night and eats like a little pig! We are all having a lot of fun watching her grow, especially her two big brothers.

Barbara