September 17, 1996

7:41 p.m.

7 pounds, 7 ounces

20.5 inches

In December 1995, I was starting to get worried about not getting pregnant yet. My husband, Paul, and I both had unfounded fears that we couldn't conceive. A few days after New Year's, 1996, I decided to do a home pregnancy test, as my period was a few days late. It was positive, and I burst out crying-I was so relieved. Paul said "It's okay, honey, we can try again." I said "No, look!"

The pregnancy was healthy but not very easy for me. The first five months I had morning sickness all day long. I could only eat the blandest foods. I couldn't stand meat, dairy products, or anything spicy or greasy. At my first ultrasound at 16 weeks, we were thrilled to see the baby's image. At one point, it stretched its legs straight out across the sac. They found that the placenta was low-lying, but by 24 weeks at the next ultrasound, it had moved up out of the way. Finally I felt the baby's movements. Each time it took my breath away. It was amazing to know that there was a little life developing inside of me, and I prayed constantly that the baby would be healthy and whole and come safely to us.

When I was finally able to eat fairly normally again, I began quickly putting on weight. I didn't eat junk, but was hypoglycemic and had to eat every two hours during the day. I put on a total of 42 pounds during the pregnancy. By the last two months, I was feeling very heavy and uncomfortable. My legs and ankles began to swell, sometimes so badly it hurt to stand. This was the worst thing about the pregnancy. I was due Sept. 13 and thankfully, the summer was not very hot.

The baby was in breech position until about 34 weeks, when it turned over. From then on I knew that it was usually facing toward my right side, from the position of its feet and buttocks. I thought the baby was gentle; it never kicked me very hard. It seemed to like to just stretch out against my belly, so I was easily able to feel the outline of its feet. I loved trying to feel its feet, and would push gently against the heel until it would move its foot away.

I started having Braxton-Hicks contractions quite often. They were painless, but my stomach would tighten and get very hard. Paul starting doing perineal massage for me about 2-3 times a week in hopes that I wouldn't need an episiotomy. We both went to childbirth classes, which helped very much to prepare us. I had worried about what would be done to me based on hospital policy and was able to have my fears relieved. The hospital was very progressive. It had birthing suites where we and the baby would stay the whole time. They did not shave, give enemas or do anything else I did not want. They did have to use the monitors occasionally, but I could do whatever I wanted during the rest of the labor.

At 37 weeks, my OB said it was ok to have the baby anytime. The baby had dropped, the head was beginning to get low, I was ripening, about 25-50% effaced and 1 cm dilated. I had already lost my mucus plug. The doctor said he didn't think I would go another week. We were very excited, because we couldn't wait to meet this new little person, to see what it looked like and hold it in our arms. We prepared everything, cleaned the house, packed the bags, finished the baby's room. Paul took me for bumpy truck rides, and I started walking 2-3 times a day trying to bring the labor on. A week later, I was almost ripe, 50% effaced and 2-3 cm dilated. We felt sure it would be anytime. My poor husband (who is very hyperactive and must always be doing something) wanted to be around in case I did go into labor. I felt like I was leading him on many wild goose chases because some days my BH's would become regular every 15 minutes for about 2 hours and we would think it might be time. During the last three weeks he woodworked to occupy his time and built us a nightstand, a laundry sorting center, a bird feeder and an ark with little wooden animals for the baby to play with.

I was still working full-time, and my co-workers were beginning to drive me nuts. Every half hour they would ask me if I was getting any pains. The people who had bet I would deliver early were losing. Two weeks later, on my Friday due date, I was still 3 cm and still no baby. The doctor joked that I should go for a mountain bike ride, so the next day we did. I was very careful but tried to hit every bump! Those three weeks had felt longer than the entire pregnancy, and we thought the baby would never come.

I went to the doctor again on Monday, Sept. 16th. Now the baby's head was very low, I was completely ripened, 100% effaced and 3 cm. The doctor stretched my cervix and stripped my membranes again. Then I had a non-stress test. After having had Braxton-Hicks for two months and very frequently for the past few days, I didn't have a single one the whole hour I was monitored! The baby's heartbeat was very strong and regular though. My induction date was set for Thursday morning.

That evening I felt very crampy and bled a little as I had after the last membrane stripping. I was a feeling a little down because I had wanted to experience everything as naturally as possible through delivery, but now I was willing to be induced because I wanted to have this baby VERY BADLY.

I woke at 1:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep (as usual lately). After a while I realized I was having seemingly regular contractions, no different from the BH's. Paul woke at 4:30 and wanted to go for a walk to see if they would continue. We walked with the dog for an hour in the pouring rain. Paul timed the contractions about every 4 minutes, lasting 30 seconds. We returned home and called the hospital and were told we could stay at home until my water broke, the contractions became much more painful, or they lasted about 60 seconds. We went back to bed to rest for a while, then walked again around 9:30 am. The contractions were now every 3 1/2 minutes lasting 45 seconds. I was very unsure that I was in labor because the contractions didn't really hurt. At noon I got into the bathtub to relax and napped a little. Around 2 pm the contractions were 3 minutes apart lasting almost 60 seconds. We finally decided to go to the hospital to be checked. Just in case it was real labor we got everything together and packed the car with our bags and the carseat.

The nurses at the hospital had been waiting anxiously for me after my call that morning. They monitored me and announced I was in labor. I started feeling excitedly nervous--what I had waited for so long was finally happening. My OB came in at 3:30 pm. I was 5 cm dilated! He promptly broke my water. I was admitted, changed, and given an IV with something in it for my hypoglycemia. The nurses said I was an easy patient, as I was still smiling and joking. Then it started to get painful. Paul said I stopped talking to him and just stared at muted cartoons on the TV, but that was how I stayed focused and completely relaxed during contractions. I never yelled or made much noise, except I moaned softly at the start of the contractions, then just breathed slowly and deeply through them. I started feeling cold, which seemed unusual, and had to have blankets wrapped around me.

I had been totally against getting an epidural, but my friend who had just had a baby said to gauge the amount of pain that I felt I could handle against the time remaining until delivery. At 5:00 I asked to be checked so I could decide if I wanted the epidural. I was 6 cm, only 1 cm in 1 1/2 hours. The nurse said the average was one cm per hour. I decided to get into the shower to try to ease some of the pain. I did not have any back labor, but the pain in front was enough. I deliberated about the epidural on the toilet while I waited for Paul to help me into the shower. My position on the toilet made the pain even worse and I opted for the epidural, as I refused to be given any narcotics. I felt like I would just be punishing myself to endure the pain for what I thought would be about four more hours when I could have relief that wouldn't harm my baby. I leaned against Paul in a very hot shower for an hour while we waited for the anesthesiologist. The shower helped me to bear the pain much better, and I was sorry to get out for the epidural.

It took about 40 minutes to get the epidural in and start feeling the medicine, but it only took on my left side. I still had full feeling on the right side, but I didn't mind. Half of the pain was much easier to bear. At this point I became very cold, and was shivering violently. All I wanted was to be warm. I was finally covered in heated blankets and became very comfortable. I had only been under the epidural for about 10 minutes when my OB came in and checked me--9 cm! I had been off in another world, with my eyes closed and still breathing through the contractions. I felt very surprised and could hardly believe that what I had waited for so long was about to happen. It was now almost 7 pm. The nurses started breaking down the bed and preparing the room for the delivery. The nurse who had taught our childbirth class and who we had specifically asked to be there with us arrived, just in time.

I never got the 'urge' to push, but the doctor had me start pushing. Paul was holding my right leg and the special nurse my left. I would hold my breath and push until I thought my eyes would pop out and then have to exhale and start again. They said my face was turning blue. I would repeat this 3 or 4 times during the contractions until I had to stop and rest and BREATHE. I couldn't feel anything because of the late epidural except, thankfully, for one spot inside where I could focus to push. They said they saw the head right away, I felt that I just couldn't push hard enough to get it out. I know Paul must have been frustrated because the head would start to crown during a push, then go back in. I felt I wasn't pushing well enough, but the doctor kept encouraging me, which was a good thing. I was about to tell him to just cut an episiotomy and get that baby out! In between contractions he was massaging and stretching my perineum to try to avoid an episiotomy. Finally, the head started to crown. They said they could see black hair around the doctors hand! The doctor was able to hook his fingers under the baby's chin and help to pull him out, which unfortunately I didn't feel either. I just heard Paul yell and I opened my eyes to see the baby pop out with a spurt of amniotic fluid all over his dad! It was a boy! He was born at 7:41 pm, after only four hours of painful contractions and 36 minutes of pushing. The first thing I looked for was the placement of the umbilical cord; it was around his stomach. Then I saw he was very grey, but he started screaming right away. I had this overwhelming feeling of disbelief- I just pushed this thing out of my body?! This was MY baby?! They placed him on my bare chest and he promptly peed on me. Paul was exhilarated, but I now felt kind of matter-of-fact. This was my baby and I was trying to keep ahold of his slippery little body and comfort his crying. Paul cut the cord, they swabbed the baby dry and covered him with blankets while I still held him. I barely noticed the placenta being delivered but heard the doctor say it was healthy and that I had no episiotomy or tear, just a little skid mark. The doctor asked the baby's name; it took 3 attempts to get Paul's attention (he was practically dancing around the room!) He said "Lucas Anthony Kinder." After a few minutes they took him and weighed and measured him (7 lbs., 7 oz., 20.5 inches long), put the stuff in his eyes, swaddled him and laid him under the warmer while I was cleaned up. He was given back to us and we took pictures with the doctor and nurse.

The doctor congratulated us, gave me a kiss on the head and left and the room quieted down. We were alone to look, touch and marvel at our beautiful baby boy. He had a full head of dark brown hair and was just perfect. He was very alert and stared at us with greyish-brown eyes. Paul kept thanking me for giving him a beautiful son. I thanked him for being so wonderfully supportive and for being there for me every second. He said he wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world. I nursed Lucas within the first hour, after trying three different holds to help him latch on. We made our phone calls; most of our friends and all of our family were long distance. We had our visitors and I was finally brought food--I was starving!

I was finally allowed to get out of bed about 3 am. The hospital normally administers a dose of pitocin after delivery to avoid bleeding, but I had needed three doses. I had felt fine and never realized anything was wrong but I guess I was bleeding more than they liked. I was helped to the bathroom and cleaned up. Paul bathed Lucas, diapered and dressed him (he had been nude until then). I lied with Lucas the rest of the night, reveling in the feeling of his newborn body next to mine.

Although I didn't like being pregnant much, I did enjoy the wonder of it very much. It was amazing to know that my body knew just what to do to take my baby from a couple of cells to a perfect living, breathing person. Lucas' birth was a wonderful experience. I can truthfully say I loved it. I was very pleased with my doctor's lack of artificial intrusion. I regretted having gotten the epidural, but I had no idea I would dilate so soon. I felt could have done it naturally and should have asked to have been checked again just before the epidural. I thought the labor was very easy; the first 13 out of 17 hours were not painful or troublesome. I also regret not feeling the birth, but hopefully next time I will have a whole experience. I am very much looking forward to doing this again in a few years, hopefully with the same doctor and hospital.

The first two weeks after his birth I had the 'baby blues.' I often cried and felt very lost as if I didn't know what my place was in the world. Then I realized I was still me, and now I was blessed with being the mother to this beautiful baby boy. Lucas is now ten weeks old, and he is just wonderful. He smiles at us and has started laughing. He has grown to 13 lbs., 10 oz., and 24 inches long solely on breastmilk, I am proud to say. Breastfeeding has been very rewarding. It has helped foster a bond between us that is shared by no one else for now. I hope to continue until he is at least a year old.

To everyone expecting a child, Best Wishes. Try to see childbirth not as a scary, painful procedure, but as the beautiful experience of bringing a new life into the world. Diana-proud mother to Lucas Anthony 9/17/96

You can now read birth stories two ways:

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While others preferred the categorized stories, broken down into similar types of stories. The new stories here will be posted at the top of each section.