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Matthew's Birth

Matthew Oliver Hall

Our first child, Matthew was conceived the day after an 82 mile bike ride around the Isle of Wight, a small island off the south coast of England. I can tell you my husband and I were exhausted after the ride and as I am one of the lucky women who can feel ovulation we were quite dismayed when it happened the day after! However, brave soldiers we were and Matthew (or grape as he was known at 7 weeks) was duly conceived!

He was due 24 Jan 95. I had lots of annual leave accrued and so I finished work on the 9th Dec which was rather nice because there was lots to do with Christmas and all that. However, my husband was laid off work on Christmas eve (not too drastic, he was due to start a new job on Feb 20th), so we both had nothing to do but to sit around and wait for 'little man' (I was convinced he would be a boy), and say 'No, we haven't had the baby yet' to all the relatives who kept phoning!

Due date came and went and we got more fed up by the minute. I had my usual antenatal appointment on the Thursday (26th) and everything was fine. Braxton Hicks seemed a little stronger but no other signs. The midwife (Jacqui) suggested two 'old wives tales' - namely a hot curry and sex! That evening we went out for the curry but I was only brave enough to have a medium! We then went to bed to carry out the second suggestion.

I woke up at 11:50 with a strange pain. As I had had strange pains before I thought nothing of it and tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't sleep so I went to the bathroom and the 'pains' were worse so I timed them. No, it couldn't be contractions, they were supposed to start at 20 mins apart at least and these pains were every 8 minutes! This went on until about 12:15 when I woke my husband and said 'Don't get too excited but I think I'm in labour!'. He calmly phoned the hospital and told them and was told to bring me in. He asked if I had time for a bath, which I did, so I did!

We set off for the hospital at 1:00 with the contractions coming every 3/5 minutes alternately. They were rather painful but it was a bearable pain. We arrived at the hospital at 1:25 and were taken up to the rather shabby looking delivery room. Two midwives (not my usual one - I was now out of her area) came in and announced they were both called Jacqui (spooky!). I was examined (first one ever!) and was 3cm dilated. I was really rather pleased with myself for a first timer! I told the midwives 'No offence, but if it's a girl I'm not calling it Jacqui!'.

By now, and being the wimp that I am I was on the Gas and Air. This did help a bit but also made me feel rather sick. It also ran out twice and I had to have new (not full) cylinders brought in each time! We were left to get on with it and the midwives came back at 4:30 to re-examine me. I was now 6cm dilated and things were progressing well. The contractions were strong and there seemed to be little chance for recovery between them. I wimped again and asked for a shot of Pethidine. The midwife had asked if I would like to have my waters broken during the examination and while I was saying 'I've heard it really hurts, I'm not sure..oh go on then', I just felt this release and that was it!

What seemed like minutes later but was actually 2 hours, I got this incredible urge to push. I could not seem to fight it. My husband got the midwives in who examined me and much to my surprise said 'well go on then - push!'

I was amazed. This was a turning point for me. The pain was so severe I could not feel the contractions. They kept saying 'When you feel the contraction, push' but I just got this overwhelming sensation and pain and completely lost control of everything. I was in PAIN. I think the wimp in me was holding back and I was so tense that I made matters much worse. The Gas and Air was now useless and if this was it with Pethidine, what was it like without!!

I could sense my husband was dying to say 'Oh stop fussing and get on with it woman' but fortunately for him he showed great restraint and didn't! (He has since informed me this is my imagination!). I was at the point where I was saying 'I can't do this, the baby's stuck!' when I was told to put my hand down to feel the baby's head, which I did. Well this really spurred me on because a: I didn't realise he was actually so far out, and b: I thought no wonder this hurts and while he stays there it will not get any better!

The midwives were saying 'You've got to have this baby soon - we go off duty at 8:00' and so at 7:55am Matthew made his appearance. I'm sad and a bit ashamed to say that all I could think at that time was 'Thank God that's over with'.

Unfortunately my story doesn't end there. I needed to be stitched up but we were left with our new baby for a while. My husband had the phone by the bed making all the appropriate phone calls and I was trying to nurse Matthew when all of a sudden I got this incredible pain 'down below' and told my husband that he'd have to take Matthew as I was in pain. I was panicking as I didn't know what was wrong and I had thought it was all over. The doctor (or somebody!) came in and we found out I had a haematoma. I got wheeled off to some prep room somewhere and my feet put in stirrups ready to be sorted out. I was still in a lot of pain and was back on the gas and air by now!

What seemed like an eternity passed before a nurse came in, anaesthetised me ready to be stitched up. She decided I was too badly damaged and went off to find a doctor. What seemed like another eternity passed before a doctor came and decided I would have to go to theatre and have a spinal block so that I could be 'fixed' properly. It was about 10:30 before I finally made it to surgery. I was crying and feeling like I had deserted by new-born and had failed him already, so he was wheeled into theatre to be next to me (he was fine - slept right through it all!). My poor husband was upset and frightened at all this, not to mention exhausted by now. This was supposed to be such a lovely experience!

So despite my only pre-labour requirements being no epidural and no episiotomy, I ended up with a third degree tear and a spinal block!! Not a good start to motherhood. I almost wish I'd thought to ask to have a zip fitted!

My one determination for next time is to be more in control, and I hope more than anything that my next birth experience is a lot happier for all concerned.

Matthew's Brother's Birth