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Olivia Sage Grunwald's Birth

I was due with my second baby on March 30, 1997 and really wanted her to be born about 10 days before that. When she wasn't, I was resigned to being pregnant as long as it took, but at 40 weeks plus a few days following a normal non-stress test and an ultrasound showing plenty of amniotic fluid, Melissa, my obstetrician said something about the baby not fitting through the pelvis. This really annoyed me, as there was no indication that there was a danger of cephalo-pelvic disproportion in my first pregnancy even though it was a cesarean birth. I promptly made an appointment with a Chinese medicine midwife who does acupuncture and with a cranial/sacral therapist. A week after the EDD, on Monday I had acupuncture that got the baby to drop considerably, but not engage. Then the cranial sacral work, and on Wednesday another session of acupuncture. Not as much seemed to change, but I felt ok about everything since labor with Ursula had started 11 days after her EDD and Melissa seemed willing to let me go to 43 weeks. I really didn't want any sort of intervention since I'd already had one c-section and never wanted to go through that again.

No surprise then that at 4 AM on Friday, 11 days after my due date, I started having contractions every 7 minutes. I got up and read my email, called my friend in Chicago- Heather- and told her they were mild, but regular and she should fly out that day. I awakened my husband and he was very excited, but went off to work anyway, and my daughter (she's 2 1/3) went to daycare. I ran a bunch of errands and then went home to meet Heather when she came in. I called Melissa and left a message that I was in early labor, thought she might want to check me, but didn't hear back from her. So Heather and I hung out, walked the dogs, eventually picked up Ursula and dinner- all the while with 7 minute apart contractions.

All Friday night the contractions continued, increasing slowly in intensity. Saturday we went swimming at a wonderful pool with lap lanes, a warm kid pool and a hot tub. I had to think about the contractions at that point, but they were still quite manageable. I had a nap when we got home and finally after dinner they were strong enough for me to want my doula, Darcy to come over and at least rub my feet. Sarah, a friend of hers who plans to become a nurse/midwife, came over too. It became apparent that Ursula, my daughter, was distracting me a lot by then (and stealing my dinner off my plate J) so Dirk and Heather took her to our friend's house. It was so sad to kiss her goodbye, but she was very brave. I knew she would be fine but it was her first night away from home.

Sometime during the evening I began to wonder if Melissa had gotten my message from the day before so I called her number to get the practice on call. It wasn't the practice that would back her up for me since I felt they were too likely to intervene, and really, all I wanted was confirmation that she knew she would have to come back from Colorado Springs sort of soon- a 2 ½ hour drive. Instead of just paging her, the ob on call did her best to talk me into going to the hospital. I felt like she first tried to guilt me on my behalf, then on behalf of the baby. The last place I wanted to be in early labor was the hospital, so finally I was able to get Melissa paged so I could just make certain she knew that finally something was happening.

After Ursula left contractions picked up a little more and I was managing them by leaning forward on my hands and knees on the floor. Darcy set up a bath with lavender oil and put on a relaxation tape and I zoned in the tub. I went to bed around 11 but had to sit up and lean on Dirk (who was asleep) to manage the contractions and by 4 AM I had to get out of bed to hang on his dresser- so I got up. Miso soup and Sarah's cookies tasted really good at that point, and I was so glad I'd eaten them a little later when I threw up. Dry heaves would have been awful. I ate as much as I could between contractions, which was difficult, as I needed to hang on to Dirk or Heather for contractions, and they were the cooks. I downed the rest of Darcy's Raspberry Leaf tea and called her to tell her that labor was picking up. At about 6:30 AM Dirk let the hospital know we were coming- mostly because I couldn't imagine sitting in the car after labor intensified. There was no traffic early on a Sunday morning, so I had only one contraction on the way. We were waiting at a stoplight and a contraction started just as the light turned green. I said "gotta get out" and hopped out to hang on the car door- Heather and Dirk hopped out too, so we had a Chinese Fire Drill at the intersection. Only one person was privy to that lovely sight. We arrived in labor and delivery just as nursing shifts changed.

Our birth plan said no interventions, but the nurse wanted to put a buffalo cap in anyway when she drew blood for blood chemistry. I told her she could, but after I had some coffee- I really need my one cup of coffee in the morning. Without it, the buf cap was going to feel like a major intrusion into my body. Apparently the nurse thought this was the wierdest thing she'd ever heard from a laboring woman! (I thought Melissa had agreed to no buf cap, and when she came in she said I didn't need one.) We did the initial monitoring strip for which I stood up or sat. The baby was fine so we got rid of the constant monitoring. By then contractions were pretty knife-like, radiating down my thighs and around to my back. Darcy got me swaying, vocalizing and moving through the contractions, and Heather, Dirk and Sarah took turns with her supporting me and they all rubbed my back and thighs. Even though I had a little coffee and was drinking juice and miso soup, I felt tired and wanted to sleep. When Melissa came in she suggested Stadol so I could get a little rest, and Darcy suggested the jacuzzi. I asked Darcy what the worst thing she's ever seen happen with Stadol, and she said that it often just makes women dizzy and doesn't allow any sleep. So I nixed that and Heather filled the tub instead. Ah- what a great thing. I was able to get off my feet and get into a trance with the ever increasing contractions. Dirk and Heather hung out with me, and the only disturbance was the nurse coming in with the doptone every 15 minutes. When I labored out of the tub she kept coming at me with the fetal monitor, but that was much better than constant monitoring, and I did my best to ignore it. As we walked the halls someone would steer me back to the room to get monitored, but I wasn't stuck in a little room.

I drank juice and water the whole time I was in labor, and tried a little solid food too. Melissa walked in once while I was eating a breadstick and I handed it to her when the next contraction started. Awhile later the nurse came into the bathroom and told me I shouldn't eat because if I needed anesthetic I could aspirate on my vomit. I considered discussing the physiology of digestion with her, and the higher acidity if one has an empty stomach, but chose to ignore her instead. Apparently Melissa told her that it was ok to eat- after all, I didn't intend to have another c-section. J After every contraction I would have at least a sip of water- enough so I had to urinate often. I couldn't sit on the toilet to do it though since it would invariably trigger a contraction, so I had to get creative and pee standing up.

After another bout of hallway walking I hit transition- yikes! It was really intense and went on forever- maybe two, maybe three hours. After I'd been in transition forever Melissa checked me and I still hadn't made it to 10 cm. L I got back into the tub and labored there forever and said "Hey, what if I'm not in transition?!" Dirk, Darcy and Heather thought that was really funny, but it seemed like a real possibility when I said it. Darcy told me that I'd only been in transition for 20 minutes, which I kind of doubted. Amazingly, while I was still in the tub, I started having an urge to push. I never expected it to happen, and remember thinking a little earlier that all I wanted to do was go to a place with no pain. I also wondered how other women managed to give birth- it hurt so much then. I was completely surprised by how strong the urge to push was, and by how painful it was. I finally lost my mucus plug and my water broke right around the same time. I was expecting the contractions to hurt more when my water broke, but don't think I could distinguish any greater intensity by then. I noticed that I was standing up to my knees in the Jacuzzi and was no longer sitting in it so I decided it was time to get out.

More chills and hot flashes as I stood in the middle of the room, hanging onto Darcy or Dirk, mostly. Melissa checked me and I was fully dilated, but Sage was still at -2- that really irritated me so I started pushing all the harder and vocalizing to get her down. I tried a couple positions for pushing- leaning on the bed while holding onto someone's hands across the bed- that worked really well. I knew I would have to move at some point because Melissa has a back injury (as did I, so I can sympathize) so I sat on the lowered end of the bed and would get up to hang on someone to push. Later Dirk said that my legs were giving out, but I was just exercising no control over them. The nurse, for some reason, suggested I get into bed and hang on the back- a dismal failure. I was so uncomfortable because I didn't have anything to hang on to and no one could grab my hands from that end of the bed. Someone fetched a squat bar although it took two tries to get the right one, and I propped myself up and leaned on the bar and pushed. I would rather have been standing but it didn't seem possible with the way the bed was set up. Because of all the movement my concentration was broken and I was less effective at pushing than I had been when on the floor, and I found it absolutely impossible to hold my breath. I kept stuffing my hand in front of my mouth hoping that would help, but of course it didn't. Everyone kept telling me that I could feel Sage's head, but when I tried to touch her it didn't feel like a head to me at all. It felt like a warm smooth lump surrounded by a bunch of soft tissue. Then Dirk got the mirror so I could see, and amazingly, there was a head there. Having that mirror really helped me, as I couldn't visualize that the baby was ever going to come out because of how I was pushing.

I don't know how long I pushed in that position, but I watched her head get bigger and bigger. I wasn't really comfortable in a sort of lying down position, but it helped that I could see Sage. Right before her head was about to come out I didn't think I could stand it anymore and said "Melissa! Just get her out!" Of course I had no intention of having an episiotomy but I thought that maybe Melissa could just sort of work the head out- who knows. Fortunately Melissa ignored that and finally Sage's head popped out. Then there was an eternity while Melissa picked up a bulb suction and suctioned Sage's nostrils and all I wanted to do was push. It's very bizarre to look down and see the head of your baby hanging out so calmly, waiting for the rest of her to be born. Finally Dirk moved over and held onto her while I pushed the rest of her body out- and as soon as her shoulders were born all pain stopped. What a relief!

I reached down and grabbed her, and there was my calm little baby looking at me. She was a lovely shade of violet, sloshing amniotic fluid and membranes. Someone wrapped her up and after the cord stopped pulsing Melissa showed Dirk how to cut it, but I helped too. Dirk called our friend who was taking care of Ursula and asked her to bring her over, so she was there in less than half an hour. Melissa had finished stitching me up by then as I had had a tiny tear- probably from when I just couldn't wait anymore. The first thing Ursula looked for was the rest of the umbilical cord coming out of me since she's fascinated with them, but the placenta had been delivered by then and she missed it. I think she was bummed that she missed the birth, and I was too, but that's just the way it worked. It would have been nice to get her in there after the head was born, as I was a little too anxious before then.

Sage nursed well right after she was born, and we refused all blood tests, eye drops and other irritants for her. She had such a calm birth that I really didn't want to mess with her. We transferred to a post-partum room and got lucky by getting one with a great view of the Flatirons. I spent two nights there, basically eating and drinking. Even though I had eaten (a little) and drank throughout labor, I was terribly dehydrated. The food wasn't very good, but the fruit was fantastic. Dirk and Heather passed out and spent the first night there, and then the next night they spent at home with Ursula. Sage spent about 24 hours figuring out how to latch on well on both sides, instead of playing with the nipple, and is quite the pro now at 10 days old.

Even though it was hard at the time, a vaginal birth with no drugs, no monitoring is so much easier to recover from than a c-section. I can snuggle Sage on my chest, I can nurse lying down, my milk came in in less than two days (instead of 6), can get my own food- all those things that were so difficult following Ursula's birth. Dirk and I kind of viewed the hospital as a hotel to give birth in, where they cleaned up the mess and fed us. It worked well because we were well informed and willing to stand up for our choices and because we were well supported. I couldn't imagine giving birth without a doula and at least one good friend there to help. Husbands are great to have there too, but it was hard for Dirk to watch me in pain- something that I lost track of during the whole thing.

What a way to spend a beautiful day in April, 1997- Sage is gorgeous, never lost weight and is admired even by her older sister.

Kate

Big Sister Ursula's Birth Story