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Joseph's Birth

Joseph was born on Oct 6, 1995 and at that time, I didn't know there was such a web-site devoted to this type of issue; it would have been a great help.

Like his older sister, Joseph was 10 days late (his sister was 20 days late) and there were no signs of impending birth. In neither case did I experience the "joy" of breaking water or surprise labor; I was induced. Both times, the doctors tried to induce labor by breaking the sack. With Joseph I think I waited 6 hours for some type of labor to begin but nothing of note happened. That's when they started the pitocin. Labor progressed pretty quickly and, after being in the hospital for nearly 20 hours, I was fully dilated.

However, Joseph just wasn't in the right "position" to descend the birth canal. He was a big baby - 9 lbs 1 oz, 22 inches long (I'm 5 foot 2 inches on a good day) and his head was just HUGE!!! Anyway by this time I was exhausted, dehydrated and frustrated. The doctor gave me several options including a c-section, a vacuum extraction and forceps delivery. The last two scared me. I was not well-informed and concerned that the baby might be hurt. I was a forceps breech delivery and my mom always told me how shocked she was at the scratches on my face and my mis-shapen head. So, I opted for the c-section thinking better I run the risk of injury then my baby.

I have never had anything more serious than a cavity filled in my life. I went from a comfortable birthing room to an operating room. At that point, I had gone drug-free and now faced a spinal block. My husband was with me but I was very scared. The baby was delivered in 15 minutes! At that point I thought to myself that I wish I had known from the beginning that I couldn't deliver the baby; I might have avoided the day of waiting and pain and frustration. Anyway I delivered a healthy, beautiful, blond, blue-eyed boy and it was all worth it!

After the delivery I expected to be in the hospital for 4 days. In Canada, babies generally "room-in" with their mothers and despite having a c-section the baby was still with me and I was expected to care for him. I didn't breast feed because I didn't think I could handle the pain of holding him. And I was in a lot of pain. I remember my first steps and literally seeing stars and feeling like the ground was being pulled from under my feet. I eventually developed a wound infection and ended up in hospital for 8 days. In my city where the average stay is about 2 days, I was miserable. I watched other women come and go from my room and leave with their babies while I had to wait for my fever to break and deal with a newborn baby, pain, and discomfort and missing my older child.

I eventually healed pretty well within a few weeks' time although it was slow given the infection. What I'll always remember was the sadness and the feeling that somehow I had been cheated out of a natural birth. The hospital and doctors dealt with my physcial problems quite effectively but there was no emotional support in my hospital and no information about what I had gone through. I'm so glad women now have web-sites like this one; it would have been a great support to me through my ordeal.