Benjamin Koby


My partner gave birth to our first child, Mollie, and when we were ready to have #2, it was my turn. A few months before my due date I started looking for someone to do labor support at our house; I really wanted to spend as much time laboring at home as I could. My partner, Jan, was supportive of this idea; one of the good things about having me labor at home (with support) was that Jan could get Mollie settled with the people who would be caring for her. I contacted Doulas of North America, who gave me the name of a local resource, who in turn gave me the names of two midwifes who did both home births and hospital support. My HMO OB/GYN was supportive and offered a third name.

I talked to all three women on the phone and decided to meet with two of them. Since I was due on Thanksgiving, one concern was to find someone who would not be going away for the holiday. Luckily for us, Jan and I both liked the one of the two who had no travel plans, and so we hired Linda (and paid for her out of pocket) to join us for labor and delivery.

The Friday before I delivered (on a Sunday) was Veteran's Day, and so Jan and I were both off from work. That afternoon, while Mollie was napping, we were in bed, and when I got up to pee I discovered I was bleeding. It was like having my period, which is not what I expected bloody show to be like. I called both Linda and the HMO (which was officially closed for the holiday) to find out what to do, and decided to go to the hospital to make sure everything was fine. We called our friends, woke Mollie up, and brought her to their house on the way to the hospital. Once there I was given an internal, hooked up to a monitor, and checked by ultrasound. The bleeding had stopped, everything was fine, so we picked Mollie up and went back home.

Since it was two weeks before my due date, neither Jan (who was taking a 6 week maternity leave) nor I (who was taking a 4.5 month maternity leave) had finished preparing our jobs for the temporary help who would be called in. The next day, Saturday, I went to my office first thing in the morning and spent the next 4 hours writing instructions and getting as much done and organized as I could. Jan took Mollie to a birthday party where I later met them and sent Jan to her work to do the same. That evening we had a wedding to attend and had arranged for Mollie to spend a few hours at a friend's house, so after nap time I brought Mollie to her friend, and met Jan at the wedding. We were there for a few hours when I left again to pick up Mollie and go home. By the time I got Mollie to bed I was thinking that maybe I was having contractions. Jan came home and we went to bed.

I woke up around 2am and woke up Jan. I was clearly having contractions, every 8-10 minutes. I told Jan to go back to sleep, but she didn't want to. We both got up and sat at the kitchen table playing a board game for the next hour or two. The contractions continued to be 8-10 minutes apart and weren't painful. I decided we should try to go to sleep. Jan did right away, and I did as well, though it took a few contractions. After each contraction I would think "I have to fall asleep in the next ten minutes." We slept until morning.

Sunday morning, same story with the contractions. We got our bags packed again and gathered up all the things the Mollie would need. It was an unusually warm day and we went for a walk together. Walking made the contractions stronger and I pushed Mollie's stroller so I had something to hold onto. We didn't stay out very long, and when we got home we called our friends who would be taking Mollie, as well as Linda, our labor support. Linda said she would be at our house in an hour. Since Mollie was ready to go to her friend's house, we called a neighbor to see if she wanted to talk a(nother) walk with me while I was waiting for Linda. Jan and Mollie left and for a few minutes I was home alone. Then I went on my second walk for the morning. Once again, walking made the contractions stronger, but they still weren't painful. We didn't take a very long walk, since I wanted to get back home before Linda arrived.

When Linda arrived, she and I sat around the house for about fifteen minutes talking about the labor. During that whole time I didn't have any contractions (!) and wondered if I had called her too early. We decided to take a(nother) walk, and as soon as I stood up I started having contractions again. Linda checked the baby's heartrate, and because I asked her to, also gave me an internal. I was mostly effaced and 2 cm dilated. That seemed like good news to me. (Two days earlier at the hospital I had been partially effaced, but not at all dilated.) So we went for our walk.

Since I had Linda with me, I felt like I could take a longer walk. We walked and talked and the contractions were coming regularly, every five minutes or so. I continued to walk and talk through the beginning of each contraction but would then need to stop. Linda would notice, ask if I were having a contraction, and take a look at her watch. As our walk went on, the contractions took more out of me. It wasn't so much of a painful feeling, but more that each contraction took all my attention. We found a bench and sat for a while so I could have a break (once again I had no contractions while I was sitting). Then we walked home.

It was now around lunch time, and I had some homemade chicken soup. I called Jan at our friends' and we decided she would stay there with Mollie a little longer. About ten minutes later, after realizing that the contractions were now coming even when I was inactive, I called Jan back to tell her to come home right away, and she did.

We were home for another hour, maybe. We called our relatives and our bosses (so they'd know not to expect either of us again soon!). The contractions were starting to be painful, and I decided to take a bath. It didn't do much for me (though if I had been able to fit my whole body under water...). Jan fed me chocolate ice cream. After I got out of the bath, Linda, who had been in the background a bit, saw how my labor was getting more intense and asked if we wanted to go to the hospital. I decided to have another internal first, and was 5cm. Things were really moving quickly, and Linda changed her question to a statement, so off to the hospital we went. Linda went in her own car, and Jan drove me. Because we had car seats in the back, I had to sit up front. Driving to the hospital, which was only 15 minutes away, was very painful. I was screaming through the contractions, which were very frequent. I hated being stuck in the car, and as soon as we reached the hospital, I made Jan let me out while she went to park. Once I was standing up I felt a little better.

A few minutes later Jan and Linda came out of the parking garage and we headed to the elevators to go to Labor and Delivery. The elevator ride was great: me trying to scream softly though the contractions, the other passengers (men) desperately wishing they weren't on the elevator with us! When we got to the L&D floor we had to check in at the desk. I couldn't talk--the pain was really bad. It was great to have Linda with us then: she told the nurse who she was, the history of my labor, that I was 5cm dilated (a half hour ago). We were immediately put into a LDR room. It was 2 o'clock.

The next thing that happened was terrible for me. I was hooked up to a monitor and had to stay that way for 20 minutes so they could get a reading on the baby. Because I was in so much pain I couldn't lie down, so I did the monitor standing up. But I couldn't move around. Linda had no hospital rights, so she was simply a second support person at this point. I was glad when the monitoring was done, since it meant I could flail myself about, but I was in so much pain. The contractions were very intense, and there was no time in between. As one would end and the next one start I would yell 'no, it's not time to have another one, I can't take it' but my body was not in my control. I was still standing; I thought I would want to lean on the bed, but instead, with each contraction, I stood higher and higher on my tip-toes. I was trying desperately to get out of my body!

The doctor on call wandered in and out a couple of times during this time, trying to find my chart. It was missing, as it had been two days earlier when I'd come in for the check. It would have been nice if it had been found, or reprinted, in the meantime. Since I was in so much pain, I was telling Jan and Linda and the nurse (who was great) that I wanted medication, but none could be given without my chart. Finally the doctor decided to have it printed again (thank goodness for connected computers), but then she still had to review it. By the time she was ready to discuss pain relief, it was almost 3:30.

We discussed a narcotic and an epidural. My partner had had a epidural with our first child, and that was what I wanted--complete pain relief. I was told that the narcotic would "take the edge off," but I wanted more than that. I got up on the bed to have an internal. I was 8cm and the doctor then left the room to get permission forms and the anesthesiologist. During this time the nurse was talking to me and told me that an epidural wasn't going to work, that I was clearly unable to be still for even a minute, let alone the 20 minutes it takes to start an epidural. Jan and Linda agreed, so we decided I'd take the narcotic instead. The nurse was getting things ready (an iv, I think) and the doctor came back in when I had a massive contraction. I was still lying on the bed and I jumped up onto my hands and knees. And my water broke. And the contractions changed and it was time to push.

So, thanks to a missing chart, I was about to have a baby with no intervention, which is really what I wanted.

Pushing was quick (a half hour till delivery). After the first push Linda, who was looking over the doctor, said she could see the head already. Pushing felt a little hard, like I wasn't quite coordinated, but much less painful, at least at first. The room was very hot, and no one could figure out how to make it cooler. I had been wearing a shirt, but took it off, so I was naked. Jan, of course, wasn't, and when I started to tear and lots of blood was gushing out, and the heat in the room--well, she almost fainted! Almost all attention was off me for a minute as Jan sat down, got a cool wet cloth, and took a drink of juice. She was afraid she was going to miss the birth. But she recovered quickly.

Once again I was in a lot of pain. I had started to tear, and the pressure of the baby trying to get out was enormous. Since I was tearing the doctor told me that I could continue the way I was and she could stitch up a tear, or she could do an episiotomy. I had wanted to avoid an episiotomy, but at this point I really wanted the baby all the way out. "Will having an episiotomy make the delivery end sooner?" I asked. "Yes," she said, and so I did.

And then he was born! When he was partially out, Linda had me reach down and touch him (I had actually touched his head earlier, too). And when he was born, he came right up onto me. Jan cut his cord, and I delivered the placenta with complete ease. He stayed on me for a while, and when the nurse asked if she could take him over to the warming table to wipe him down and check him out, I said no, not yet. So she put his cap on while he was on me and put a blanket over him. I loved having him there.

It was 4:04pm. We'd been in the hospital just two hours, and, although my labor had started the night before, it was only 4 or 5 hours since labor had been painful.

We called Mollie right away, and, our friends told us, she couldn't stop smiling. And neither could we!

Koby Benjamin, born November 13, 1994.

Lisa